Unstirred

I think this is total shit. The press is making a big huge deal out of this, so I guess Simon Lock got just what he wanted. This is is a publicity stunt to generate buzz for his dying show. Twenty or more designers have dropped out of this show over the past year, and it’s mostly because of the obnoxious organizers. Lock has decided that getting some media attention for his little show was worth the embarrassment and difficulty to Monika and the risk of starting another dumb industry trend (following on the BMI stupidity in London and Madrid, which has thankfully blown over.)

I would also like to point out that he’s flip-flopped on this. For years he said he would leave it up to the designers and agencies, but I guess he couldn’t resist.

This is no different from telling a young actress she cannot be in a show or movie. Luckily, FW Australia doesn’t matter very much in the grand scheme of the industry - and with this, it’s becoming more of a joke.

I know this isn’t a very useful post, but I’m irritated and haven’t posted since we came back to life!

First, sorry we’ve had our heads down. We had some weird issues stemming from our allegation that Tom Cruise is a pro-ana nutjob, and also had some other stuff come up. But to the many of you who wrote in worried about us - thanks, we’re fine. We’d also like to congratulate loyal reader SueBerry on being our iPhone winner. (She was kind enough to send us a photo too, and thanks Sue, you’re hawwt!)

With all the courtesies out of the way, now for some follow-up on our controversial article. Life & Style tells us Katie and Posh are hanging out again, and the magazine reports they’re skipping the pasta and splitting a kid’s salad as if this is some kind of news. I find it odd that Life & Style and the other gossip mags don’t seem interested in exploring how this might tie into her predicament with Scientology, but they’re likely afraid to cross that line.

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Well, we promised y’all a few months ago that we’d give one of you an iPhone. And the time is right. So, the lucky iPhone number is 039. If that’s your number, you win, and we’re sending you a fancy iPhone. Get in touch.

I never watch The View. But the few clips I saw helped me come to the conclusion that Elisabeth Hasselbeck is dumb as a brick. And that’s just fine - because she’s hot, her legs are twenty feet long, and she often wore boots that got me thinking of other things. Those thoughts served as a wonderful distraction from the “substance”, if any.
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We’re glad you asked! The team here at Unstirred has been researching that very subject and we’re pleased to inform you that she is - or will be in a moment- it just depends on where you take her. As many of you fan-toids know, Ali will turn 14 years old on December 22. Let us be the first to wish her a happy birthday, and good luck with not turning into a coked out anorexic shilling for nail polish and occasionally showing up in sex videos. Actually we’re secretly hoping she does, for us, but we wish her luck trying to escape the madness that is her life.

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Not much to say other than the title. Here is the formerly-skinny Amanda Bynes tonight at the American Music Awards. Now - I’m not saying she’s fat, I’m just saying she has gained weight.

Sure, Beyonce looked like a big brown cow with stretch marks on her boobs but we sorta expected that.

For poor Amanda, what’s sorta sad is her choice of dress makes things worse - it makes her belly show through really well, thus enhancing her apparent plumpness.

Her legs don’t look too bad, with the possible exception of her upper thighs - which appear to be generously bulging through the sheer dress. Her arms are OK. Her face has always looked full, but it’s puffier for sure. But it’s really her belly and middle where she looks the thickest.

Damn, girl, get a waist! Buy it if you have to. Or at least don’t eat a whole platter of sizzlin’ steak fajitas before your AMA red carpet appearance. Better yet - learn the little shaping trick that most girls who’ve ever done a red carpet know: cross your legs for the pictures.

As always, super-pretty eyes, though. Click for the high-res pix.

Well, it’s a long story. When we wrote this article about PoshTomKat based on a confirmed inside source and a family member, we didn’t quite realize what we would unleash. We’ve been threatened, harassed, and at least one Scientology freak has somehow figured out who one of us is. Anyway, we’ve decided the best way to deal with it is to keep on writing. Perhaps even about Scientology. We can handle the heat. So, bring it. Got any Scientology tips? Be in touch.

Celebitchy is covering how one of our favorite celebutantes is asking everyone for dough. We’ve been hearing this around town for a few weeks now, but she hasn’t called us. Unfortunately she’s been calling it “cake”, which as you saw in our earlier post about her post-rehab weight gain, we don’t think she needs. But this is an absolutely serious public offer to Lindsay - we’ll pony up some major cash for you if you do an Unstirred blog challenge. We actually have a few projects (no, not porn) in mind that will pay from the five to six figures, but you’ve got to get in touch with us, darling. We e-mailed and called your agency and they’re ignoring us. Maybe they know we’re trouble. Anyway, our cake awaits.

It’s time to sound the alarm on sweet little Hayden Panettiere, a very pretty girl whose potential seems to be going down the drain with each grilled cheese sandwich.

First, we saw these pictures of her looking cute-but-corn-fed in Marina Del Rey last weekend:

The last one is the most troublesome. Nice saddlebags, dear. And you’re what, 17? Then what on earth is 25 going to look like?

We racked our brain for excuses, explanations. Could it be genes? Waterlogging? Mistaken identity? A government conspiracy? Surely she’s not - stuffing her face?

Well, what most of you outside New York or Los Angeles don’t know is that most of the upper-crust-pretties (actresses, models, socialites, etc.) aren’t eating very much. But lots of them say that they eat, because it’s something their agents hammer into their head to say, so people will see them as more ordinary, thus not hating them or thinking they’re too weird (although this is changing a little.) All those average American mall-rat-girls wanna have their Mickey-Dees, and don’t want some ditzy socialite telling them they can’t. It’s complicated.

But Hayden is a rebel. And oh, she is so busted. Continue Reading »

First of all, we all love Tina Fey around here. We love her for many reasons, not the least of which is telling Howard Stern that Paris Hilton is an airhead and the whole SNL cast hated her. According to Fey, the most creative idea Paris had was doing a skit about how fat Jessica Simpson was. Well, thanks to another tipster, we’ve got a lil’ treat for y’all.

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