Unstirred

Well, it’s a long story. When we wrote this article about PoshTomKat based on a confirmed inside source and a family member, we didn’t quite realize what we would unleash. We’ve been threatened, harassed, and at least one Scientology freak has somehow figured out who one of us is. Anyway, we’ve decided the best way to deal with it is to keep on writing. Perhaps even about Scientology. We can handle the heat. So, bring it. Got any Scientology tips? Be in touch.

Celebitchy is covering how one of our favorite celebutantes is asking everyone for dough. We’ve been hearing this around town for a few weeks now, but she hasn’t called us. Unfortunately she’s been calling it “cake”, which as you saw in our earlier post about her post-rehab weight gain, we don’t think she needs. But this is an absolutely serious public offer to Lindsay – we’ll pony up some major cash for you if you do an Unstirred blog challenge. We actually have a few projects (no, not porn) in mind that will pay from the five to six figures, but you’ve got to get in touch with us, darling. We e-mailed and called your agency and they’re ignoring us. Maybe they know we’re trouble. Anyway, our cake awaits.

It’s time to sound the alarm on sweet little Hayden Panettiere, a very pretty girl whose potential seems to be going down the drain with each grilled cheese sandwich.

First, we saw these pictures of her looking cute but corn-fed in Marina Del Rey last weekend:

The last one is the most troublesome. Nice saddlebags, dear. And you’re what, 17? Then what on earth is 25 going to look like?

We racked our brain for excuses, explanations. Could it be genes? Waterlogging? Mistaken identity? A government conspiracy? Surely she’s not – stuffing her face?

Well, what most of you outside New York or Los Angeles don’t know is that most of the upper-crust-pretties (actresses, models, socialites, etc.) aren’t eating very much. But lots of them say that they eat, because it’s something their agents hammer into their head to say, so people will see them as more ordinary, thus not hating them or thinking they’re too weird (although this is changing a little.) All those average American mall-rat-girls wanna have their Mickey-Dees, and don’t want some ditzy socialite telling them they can’t. It’s complicated.

But Hayden is a rebel. And oh, she is so busted. Continue Reading »

First of all, we all love Tina Fey around here. We love her for many reasons, not the least of which is telling Howard Stern that Paris Hilton is an airhead and the whole SNL cast hated her. According to Fey, the most creative idea Paris had was doing a skit about how fat Jessica Simpson was. Well, thanks to another tipster, we’ve got a lil’ treat for y’all.

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We started this blog a month or so ago and it’s afire – 5,000 daily visits on a couple of our best days – way, way beyond what we expected. We wish to fan those flames and we’re willing to dust the coke off a few greenbacks to make it happen, so…

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We’ve been working this story for a few days, and we’re sorry for the delay – but knowing the madness and flurry it would cause, we were trying to get it right.

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I know we sometimes wax nostalgic in this space, but hell, that’s so often what life is about (sadly.)

Well, our hot tips box has been buzzing. We’ve got a hot TomKatPoshLA story developing; stay tuned.

But, for now, we were mortified to receive pictures of the formerly hot and sexy Naomi Watts in our tip box this morning. Why mortified, you might ask? Isn’t she hot? Well, people, she used to be. But it looks like either an errant sperm or a freaking fire hose has placed those days in the past forever.

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When I first bumped into this chick on the Food Channel, I hated her immediately. It wasn’t just because her attitude about cooking was simplistic and unhealthy (then again, she’s trying to sell a show in America – so, you do the math) – nor was it because she so obviously opens her husband’s beer bottles with her teeth. No, something else about her was bothering me.

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Remember sweet, shy Kahlen from America’s Next Top Model? Well, do we have a scoop for you!

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Ok, not all Christians. But most are – and the world is chock-full of examples. I am not talking about people who follow the teachings of Christ – nothing ignorant and stupid about that at all. But the people who take the Christian Bible literally, believe Jesus was the one son of a God, and believe there’s an old guy in the sky looking down and weeping every time you put it in your girlfriend’s ass before marriage. Ye are the stupid ones.

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